I had an email the other day from a past client who I haven’t heard from for a while.

It’s lovely to hear from people I have worked with, and especially nice when they occasionally just check in and tell me how things are going, what they are doing, and sometimes also, what challenges they are facing.

This particular lady is really enjoying life at the moment and it’s lovely to think that I was there for her when things were a little complicated and stressful.Read more »

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Most people have a hero. Someone whose work they admire. Someone who does something that stirs you up.

When I ask my clients to tell me their heroes, they often feel that they need to come up with some big name and then decide that they have to have the goals to go along with it.

They imagine it should be a film star, like Emma Thompson, or Bruce Willis, or Scarlet Johansson.  Or they think I want them to choose a successful business person, like Oprah Winfrey orRead more »

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Many clients, when they first come to see me, feel they are stuck. There are so many different situations in which you can find yourself where there just doesn’t seem to be any choice.

Here are just a few examples:

  • being in a co-dependent or abusive relationship;
  • doing a job you don’t like;
  • unable to lose weight or get healthy;
  • lonely, but too shy to make friends;
  • lacking the confidence and self-belief to do what you really want to do.

Read more »

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various amounts of moneyWhat sort of income do you have currently? How comfortable are you right now with how much you earn? Which of these statements fits you best?

  1. I’ve got plenty of money to get everything I need, there’s no desperate need to improve my wealth;
  2. I’m generally comfortable, so long as there are no unexpected crises, and even then we could probably weather the storm through savings and temporary cutbacks;
  3. I am constantly on a treadmill, there always seems to be more going out than coming in. I need to make more money.
  4. I just can’t make ends meet and I’m spiralling into debt.

These are broad descriptions, and I bet you can recognise yourself in one of them. Working with clients I find that individually they can be on any one of these descriptors.  For some of them, money, and the lack of it, is one of their main issues. For others it is the thing that is lowest down their priorities. Money doesn’t make happiness, that’s for certain.

The interesting thing is that the actual ‘amount’ of money that clients have or earn doesn’t necessarily relate to where they are on this scale.Read more »

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Picture this:  You are walking down a local street one warm sunny day and you see this person coming towards you. They are getting on in life, probably around 80 years old. Surprisingly hale and healthy for that age, this person waves and smiles at you and flags you down. They clearly know you very well, and there is something familiar about them now you come to think of it, but you can’t quite place them.

Then you realise, with a shock, who this is.

It’s you. It’s exactly what you would like to think you would look like when you get to that age. Some weird, time-travel experiment has put you face-to-face with the you that you will become in the future when you are eighty years old.Read more »

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Christmas giftsChristmas is about giving. It is easy to forget that when you look at the advertising of some commercial companies that suggest you ‘treat yourself for Christmas’.
I’m sure that Christmas is not about treating yourself. If you want to really make a difference this Christmas, buy some thoughtful presents, send beautiful cards, and try some of these subtler and more selfless gifts too:Read more »

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sparrow on the pathFear is a necessary part of our existence.  That may seem strange.

Think for a minute about the birds in your garden, or in a park. When you walk through the park you often will see birds in the near distance, pecking away at the ground. It may seem that they are oblivious to their surroundings, and I can guarantee that they will be gone long before you reach them. Animals, Read more »

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questions-1151886-640x480 stock exchange freeWhen you first enter my office in Haywards Heath I always ask you two important questions.

Whether you are seeing me for a free appointment, or an intensive one-day breakthrough session, or even if you have begun a series of regular sessions, the first is:

‘Why are you here?’.

It’s not a surprising question in itself, and probably likely to glean more useful information to me as a therapist and coach than ‘What’s your shoe size?’

Usually, though not always, my client will tell me Read more »

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The fourth book in my series of three (yes, I know), has got to be Tim Ferriss’ ‘The Four-Hour Work Week‘.  It’s one of those books that shifts your reality dramatically while at the same time being a fun read.  Tim Ferriss has had a very interesting life and learned some great lessons along the way which he shares with us in a light-hearted and ‘you can do this too’ manner.

He tells us how he got to win the 1999 USAWKF Sanshou (Chinese kickboxing) championships with just six weeks training. He also tells us how he increased his income from $40,000 a year to $40,000 a week, and work less doing it.

More to the point he show us how to be successful in the true sense of the word.  Success in this context means having the life you want now, rather than saving up for a life in retirement that you may never attain if the dice-roll in your particular universe isn’t in your favour.Read more »

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At the time I picked up ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ I had not particularly heard of Tony Robbins. I certainly wasn’t aware of his huge status as a ‘guru’, speaking to thousands at a time, changing lives on the fly and being a coach to some of the most famous people in the world such as Jimmy Carter and Oprah Winfrey.

The great thing about that is that the book serves as a bit of an autobiography as it recounts in quite a personal way how the changes that Tony made through NLP techniques created the life that he now has. Tony Robbins is the classic case of someone going from homeless person to multi-millionaire.  I urge you to catch some of his videos online – maybe his Ted Talk or some of his stuff on ‘Strategic Intervention‘.Read more »

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