Note: This article was originally published in ‘Haywards Heath Matters’ in March 2013
Spring is here.  The weather is improving and there are daffodils, crocusses and primroses on the verges.  Now is the time when many people feel the urge to have a good clean-up of the house and the garden.  A real spring clean.
Whether or not that is true for you, the lighter evenings and the prospect of warmer weather can be quite motivating and sometimes it’s not just our physical surroundings that need a good de-clutter. Why not take the opportunity to have a look at making your life easier, tidier and more peaceful. Just putting pen to paper and making a few lists can be a good way to start.  So find yourself somewhere pleasant to sit, get a pen and a nice notebook and off you go!Read more »

When you go on holiday do you enjoy the journey itself? Do you just want to get to that destination as quickly as you can and make the most of your holiday? Or do you enjoy all the experiences and changes along the way?

I think I’m in the second group for the most part. As a child, my favourite bit of the journey was the train. All our holidays were in this country and we mostly took the train. I remember the thrill of the waiting on the platform and the obligatory visit to the gents which I mostly did just because I wanted to know what they were like! (Sorry Dad).Read more »

Tagged with: , , , , ,

It’s become a bit of a habit to pop out on a Saturday morning for a cup of coffee, and sometimes that also means I have a moment to write my blog.
This morning is a particularly inspiring one because the sun is shining brilliantly. It’s cool but definitely going to warm up in time for Kelly’s wedding. My friend Kelly is getting married to the love of her life, Dan, today. It sounds like a wonderful affair, set in Brighton, with a bus for the guests and a whole lot of fun to be had.
On Thursday, I sent her my best wishes and promised her that we would have sun for the day, and I was right. I didn’t doubt it for a minute. I have always had direct control over the weather – (yes folks, it’s my fault).
The thing is, so does everybody.Read more »

Tagged with: ,

A lot has been written and said about the Facebook phenomenon. Love it or hate it, it’s here for a while yet, and the concept that it has created in society will last even longer.
Whether you are a fan, a casual user or one of the many who reject Facebook for various reasons it is still unavoidable. Every website has a ‘like’ button (test mine out!) Every company has a page, or an ad or a marketing strategy that takes advantage of the power of the social network.
Personally, I think Facebook is like any other tool. It will be what you make it. It can be a power for good or a power for ill. It can be fun and frivolous or it can be disturbing and depressing.
The main thing is to use it right, or not use it at all. So with that in mind I thought I would deliver my own personal top 7 tips for making the most of Facebook. These are ideas that are more or less built on my model of the world, and I know that yours may be distinctly different, but bear with me and maybe some of what I suggest may ring true.Read more »

Tagged with: , , ,

Santa Claus in therapy

One of the things I love about working as a life coach and therapist is the wonderful variety of people I meet. A key presupposition in my work is that ‘everybody is doing the best they can with the resources they have available’.

From this perspective it becomes so much easier to relate and sympathise with clients whatever their problem.

Take a case I dealt with a few years ago. Naturally I have given the client a fictitious name to protect his identity:

Case Study: Stephen Nicklaus – Father

When Stephen came to me, he was in a rut.

Read more »
Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

There is a wardrobe in my bedroom that is full to bursting with more than just clothes.

The day I moved in to my current home I found that, after carefully putting away all the practical stuff in sensible, accessible places, I had several boxes that contained, well, ‘memorabilia’. These were the things that I had accumulated over the years and held dear, without really knowing what to do with them. There were a few things, such as pictures and photos, that I was able to put up on display around the house.

A few things I disposed of because the associations they held had become painful to me (I had recently had a break-up). The rest of the stuff I had put carefully away on the top shelf of my wardrobe…and at the bottom.

And with a very small number of exceptions they have remained there ever since, and been added to, so that the older memories and the less used have crept backwards and become a bit compressed and screwed up, while the new memories are at the front and tend to tumble out every time I open the door and try to find a clean shirt.

Anybody feel a metaphor coming on?Read more »

Tagged with: , , ,

As part of the process of performing NLP, Hypnotherapy, and indeed any kind of treatment, there is one very important check that always takes place. It’s the ecology check.

Clients can come to a therapist for an incredible range of issues. In fact I would say that every client has a unique situation, that is supported by his or her own personal history. So a good therapist will always seek some further information before performing an ‘intervention’, rather than assume that one technique will always work.

For example a client may come to a therapist with a fear of dogs, and there are several excellent and powerful techniques for dealing with such phobias which are fairly general. However the therapist will want to be sure that the phobia is not in fact an ‘example’ of something else. Removing a phobia without some deeper understanding of the issues may result in a less successful outcome, or it may be successful but leave the client with the bigger issue unresolved, which may mean he or she will develop new ‘symptoms’.Read more »

Tagged with: , , , , ,

For most of us, success in life is elusive.
In the busy day-to-day battle between chaos and the mundane, it is difficult to spend more than a few moments sometimes dreaming of what success would look like.
But that’s exactly what we need to do.
Every day.
Our dreams are where we start from in life, and if we continue to dream, they are also where we end up. As the song goes, ‘don’t dream it, be it’.
Different people have very different ideas about what they want to be, to have and to do. For some, success is about big money, fast cars and a beautiful home. For others it may be less concrete – a contented life, happiness, peace. We are our own judges on such things.Read more »

Tagged with: