Finding your vision, or purpose, or your direction in life can feel like an impossible challenge. It is certainly among the top reasons that clients come to see me. The clues are often there, though and sometimes in the most unlikely places.
Why do you need to find a vision?
The first thing to check in with is, why do you feel you need to find a vision? I am probably committing coaching sacrilege here, but I think this a critical first stage. Is the reason you feel that there should be some ultimate purpose created within yourself or is it something that has been put on you from others? Are you feeling this because you think others expect it of you? Just because other people are goal focused doesn’t mean you have to be.
If this is within yourself then that’s great. You may feel comfortable with wanting those ultimate outcomes then go for it. On the other hand, if you feel there is an ‘expectation’ that you need to fulfill then you may want to consider that. If you could let go of that sense of discomfort you feel about not finding a vision, would you be happier? If the answer to this question is yes then you may just need to look at why you feel that way.
Even your need to find that vision, may be a clue as to what that ultimate purpose will look like. The need to have a vision suggests that you have an ideal about what life is all about that includes a vision or purpose. The people or things that lead you to this conclusion are important to you, and so they may also be part of that vision.
Every vision is different and personal, it’s not always about making millions or climbing mountains or running a marathon. For some a vision might be having a warm loving home, supporting loved ones or living in the moment.
Looking for clues to finding your vision
There are many clues to finding your vision. There are far too many for this brief article and some are more obvious than others. Here are a few that I feel can be particularly helpful in moving you forward, but they won’t all resonate with you now, so revisit this article from time to time.
What do you love doing that you admit to?
These are the hobbies and habits. The things that engage you and the things that release you. The stuff you do to relax when you don’t want to be bothered. If it brings you contentment then it can be part of your vision.
What about those things do you love?
It can be good to look a little deeper at those things you love doing and see if there is theme or a thread that connects them? If you like nature, walking and travel – what is it about those things that you love (discovering things? fresh air? exercise?).
What do you love doing that you don’t admit to?
What do you do that you are slightly embarrassed about but you still love doing it? How is that part of your purpose? What are you resisting? We often lack fulfillment because we feel guilty about liking certain things. At times those we care about may not be happy with our unusual hobbies or interests. You may need to recognise the importance of that. Why is it important to you, and why is it important that you resist it?
What do you do that you don’t really want to do?
Do you find yourself repeatedly feeling an urge to do something that you know on some level that you don’t want to do? All urges are clues? I know that sounds strange, and it’s not always easy to understand yourself to that level, But both the urge and the discomfort are clues to a deeper value within yourself.
How can you connect the different threads of your life?
Could they form a bigger picture? How can you follow all of those things in the most fulfilling way. You can unite and conquer or you can divide and conquer. By combining some or all of these drives, passions and interests you can create something unique. Not all visions have a job title. You can do one big thing or you can do several smaller things.Only connect. If something in your life is unconnected then find a way to connect it, or let it go.
Do I HAVE to find a vision?
Sometimes it isn’t about finding your vision at all. It may be about getting a sense of direction without having to know the outcome right now. Did you ever build something as a child out of bricks and then decide it was a house or a church or a fire station. Follow the themes and threads of your life as much as you can and find out where it all leads you. Many of my clients have found their purpose this way, but throwing themselves into their passions and accepting what they are, without a clear expectation of the outcome they have been led to achieving on a higher level than they would have dreamed possible.
You don’t have to know where you want to be yet, but if you continue connecting the dots of your present you WILL know. Be true to yourself and you will know, but it may not have a job title!