How to Stop Worrying – try just 1 simple technique today

Learning how to stop worrying, manage anxiety, and increase self-esteem are key aspects of my work with clients.

Anyone who has worked with me will know that there are a huge range of techniques and tools that can be used to help. Some are very simple to put into action, while some involve intervention by a trained practitioner.

The impact of any technique can also vary from person to person. Just because something is easy to do, doesn’t mean it can’t make a huge difference for some.

Is worrying the same as anxiety?

Worrying is like the baby sister of anxiety. It’s an unpleasant experience at best that disrupts our lives and hinders our capacity for a tranquil and joyful day-to-day life.

Excessive worrying and anxiety often get lumped together, but they’re not quite the same. Worrying is like the baby sister of anxiety. It’s an unpleasant experience at best that disrupts our lives. It hinders our capacity for a tranquil and joyful day-to-day existence.

Worrying tends to be specific and focused on particular concerns, like an upcoming event or a difficult conversation. It usually sticks to “what if” questions and hypothetical situations. While worrying can feel intense, it’s often short-lived and manageable. However you can find yourself repeatedly churning the worry over and over to a point where it becomes very hard to get on with life.

Anxiety is a more pervasive feeling that goes beyond specific concerns and lingers in the background, even without an identifiable cause. It often involves physical symptoms—like a racing heart, sweating, or restlessness—that can feel overwhelming.

The great thing is that it can be easier to take action regarding excessive worrying. It is potentially more possible to drag yourself out of the worrying phase in order to take action or solve the problem-solve. Anxiety can leave you feeling paralyzed and stuck, impacting your daily life in even more significant ways.

Managing worry can help with anxiety too, so it is well worth having some techniques available to help.

How to stop worrying about a specific event

Are you worrying about an event that is coming up in the near future? In every aspect of life, there are times when you have to consider the possibility that something may not go as well as you would like.

Let’s be clear, a certain amount of worry is necessary in life. If you don’t think about how something might go, you are less likely to prepare well.

Here are a few examples of typical worries that we experience:

• Worrying about a performance review at work.
  There’s a genuine concern that the review might highlight areas of improvement or even threaten job security.
• Worrying about having a difficult conversation with a partner or family member.
  The worry is that the conversation might lead to conflict or strain the relationship.
• Worrying about the results of an important exam or assignment.
  There’s the possibility of not achieving the desired grade, which could affect academic progress.
• Worrying about attending a social event where you might not know many people.
  There’s a chance of feeling awkward or not fitting in.
• Worrying about an unexpected expense, like a car repair or medical bill.
  It could potentially strain finances and create hardship.

In each of the above situations, you will tend to ignore potential positive outcomes that might mean your worry was ultimately unfounded.

Whatever the potential outcome and the likelihood of something happening or not happening. If you want to learn how to stop worrying, the first step is to accept that worrying is not beneficial to you.

Would you agree that once you have made all the preparations and plans you need to, there is novalue to you in worrying?

• Worrying is painful.
• Worrying is energy draining.
• Worrying is distracting.
• Worrying can make the situation worse.

Has worrying served its useful purpose now.

Is it time to let the worry go?

Cognitive reframing – how to stop worrying by worrying more thoroughly

This approach is well-known in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It takes a little effort, as most approaches do, but I have found it can be hugely helpful to some of my clients.

The way I explain the idea is that when we worry, we tend to focus on one, potential negative outcome. Often this will be the worst outcome, or something close to it. Sometimes it may also appear to be the most likely outcome, but this can be very biased by our modelof the world.

In this technique, I encourage you to focus on all the possible outcomes that you can. This is not about just thinking about deliberately positive, and potentially unrealistic outcomes. Instead you make a list of all the possible outcomes that may occur.

Remember that the universe is a much less predictable place than we assume. Very little is certain. Many of the things we worry about never happen. In fact even some of the things we look forward to don’t happen either.

By listing a large number of potential outcomes – good, bad and all the extremes in between – we encourage our minds to have a greater balance and flexibility.

So take the example from the list above:

‘Worrying about having a difficult conversation with a partner or family member.‘

Here are some alternative outcomes to the worry that the conversation could lead to conflict or strain in the relationship:

1. The conversation goes smoothly, and they understand your perspective.
2. You both feel closer after expressing yourselves honestly.
3. You find a compromise that satisfies both of you.
4. They share a perspective you hadn’t considered, which helps you understand them better.
5. The conversation clears up a misunderstanding that was causing tension.
6. They react calmly, even if they don’t agree, and it stays respectful.
7. You realize it’s not as big of an issue for them as you thought.
8. The discussion leads to a new plan for handling similar issues in the future.
9. You both agree to revisit the topic later if needed, allowing time to process.
10. You feel relieved simply by getting your feelings out in the open.

Ten alternatives is a good number, but you can go for more. Challenge yourself on how many alternative outcomes there could be. This exercise helps you get your worries into perspective and you will be pleasantly surprised at how often your actual outcome is one of the alternatives on the list, or something different again.

Your brain instinctively looks for negative outcomes, and this exercise helps break that cycle. I really urge you to try this approach for a week and see what differences you can notice.

What else can I do to stop worrying?

I recently had the honour of joining Joanne Mallon, an accomplished coach and author of 7 books, on her insightful podcast series, “5 Minutes to Change Your Life.” In this episode, “How to stop worrying about the future,” I explore another simple, but game-changing technique that can help you reduce worry and regain control over your life.

If you find yourself caught in a web of worry, this episode is a must-listen. In just five minutes, you’ll gain practical insights and strategies to silence those nagging doubts and embrace a more positive mindset.

Ready to break free from worry’s grip and learn how to stop worrying in its tracks?

Don’t forget to share it with friends and loved ones who could benefit from a worry-free life. Together, let’s create a world with less anxiety and worry.

If you want to learn more about anxiety and how to stop worrying, and develop some techniques to overcome this debilitating read Using NLP for anxiety: 3 easy techniques that work

You can also buy a copy of my Anxiety Habits Journal via Amazon as a tool on your journey.