Diverse range of people

When I first started as a NLP practitioner in 2012, I expected to have a whole range of clients. I thought there would be some amazing clients that I really liked working with. There would be some I found a bit ‘run of the mill’. I braced myself for the possibility that I would even find a few that were downright annoying!

It even seemed likely that I might occasionally have to have some very frank conversations and refer some people on to another practitioner.

To be fair, that has happened, once.

But what I actually found, was what I should have known from the start. Every single one of the people I have worked with over the years has been amazing.

Like the mother of three who runs a successful design business from home and wants to write a book.

Or the father of two teenage girls, who lost his life partner. He pours his energy and soul into his daughters.

There have been pop musicians, business owners, CEOs and politicians at one end of the scale. At the other end there have been people coping with disabilities or learning difficulties, shy people, lonely people, the scared, the tearful and the incredibly angry.

Some I’ve helped a lot. Some have only touched the surface of what is possible for them, but each person has inspired in me more of my passion and curiosity for why people do the things they do.

Everybody has the resources they need inside them

The reason they are amazing clients is because I know, from my training and my experience, that every single one of them had inside them the resources they needed to make all the changes necessary. Exploring what those resources are, and how to access them is just part of the story.

Some even simply learned that they are okay just as they are!

Every story has been different, and I look forward to the stories yet to come.

What’s your story?

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In this video in the Inspiring Success series, I talk to Neil Tomlinson. He is the founder of the drinking water business – Aquapax, rs. Aquapax is the first drinking water company to distribute its product in paper cartons, rather than the ubiquitous plastic bottle. Neil’s story is very much a personal one. Neil cares for environmental issues, and particularly due to his experience of seeing beaches that were once pristine, now covered in ugly plastic waste.

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smoking, drinking and partying bad habits

You have to wonder if a little NLP might help with Ed Sheeran’s bad habits. In his latest hit song, the singer, songwriter focusses on the bad habits he has later in the day. Some might interpret this as a reference to drink and drugs, and others to partying and one-night stands. As with all songs, the interpretation lies with the listener to a certain extent.

What is a bad habit?

Before you can resolve a problem, you need to be aware that it exists. Often we find ourselves experiencing repeating patterns in our careers, personal life and relationships that we find difficult to explain. Maybe we typically begin a relationship with passion and commitment and then start to develop jealous behaviours or possesiveness that destroys what we have. In a career we might start by loving the job but then get into a loop of complaining and politicising and end up leaving.

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When Sue Palmer attended a risque party in the 60s the seed of her mission to change children’s education in the United Kingdom was sown. Sue’s passion for learning, inspired by the writing of Sybil Marshall, has led her to be a successful author on education and childhood. Her commitment to a play-centred, Kindergarten style education for young children has become a full-blown campaign, particularly in Scotland.

In this ‘Inspiring Success’ interview we learn about her mission. We get a better understanding of the background of the educational tradition in this country. It’s quite an eye-opener.

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Gary Sutton

Gary Sutton, media analyst, screen-writer and journalist, writes about a defining moment in his education.

My Catholic primary school had a deserved reputation for success at the 11+ examination. What we did – and what other schools in the area failed to do – was hold mock 11+ exams in the weeks approaching the real thing, so on the day of the proper test, we were seasoned, and unsurprised. Passing the 11+ secured a place at the local grammar school and a path to a successful middle-class future. Failure led to the local secondary modern, skewing one’s opportunities towards a blue-collar job.

I was particularly adept at the kind of thinking required by IQ tests like the 11+. There was little doubt that I would pass. My best friend Pascal was a prodigiously gifted artist and seemed no less intelligent than me. But the nature of the 11+ meant that his chances of passing it were slim.

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does your partner say sorry

Saying sorry seems such a simple thing. When you find yourself in an argument with your loved ones in particular, things can become very emotional. You can sometimes find yourself saying and doing things that you later regret. Maybe you shouted, or stormed out, or said painful words. I hate you’, ‘I don’t care about you’ or worse. We know how to push eachother’s buttons. Sometimes we bring up past hurts to put the pressure on and increase the power of our arguments. We are seeking a reaction, feeling overwhelmed, angry and upset. We may find ourselves going to extremes in the moment. An apology may come easily to you, so why doesn’t your partner say sorry?

Just because these things happen from time to time does not mean the relationship is broken. We are all individuals, with a host of different values, beliefs and attitudes. It is only natural that conflict will occur between two loved ones, and often around similar themes.

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In this latest episode of my ‘Inspiring Success’ video series, I talk to Lesley Thomson, best selling writer of the ‘Detective’s Daughter’ series. Lelsley’s new book ‘Distant Dead‘ was published on 13 May 2021. It is the 8th in the series. Naturally we spend some time talking about the book. We cover the challenges of doing research during lockdown and also some of the parallels between the 1940s and today.

As always, we also discuss what motivates Lesley to write, her daily routines and how she overcomes procrastination.

Lesley lives in Sussex and has published several stand-alone crime novels. Her books regularly appear in the best seller lists.

Find out more about Lesley at https://lesleythomson.co.uk/

Spilt milk

Sometimes a person will reach a point in life where they come to a devastating realisation. ‘It’s all my fault’. In any aspect of our lives we may spend a considerable amount of time feeling that we are the victim and blaming others for our bad experiences, and then suddenly we reach a certain breaking point and it hits us that we are the cause of everything we are experiencing.

It often happens after things have been piling up over a long period of time. You gradually become overwhelmed with all the choices you have made and the path you have found yourself going down.

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freedom - represented by a barbed wire fence and a plan in the background

As I write this I’m stuck in a prison – the prison of the mind. A lot of people run aground in their lives and stay in that place most of the time. I am determined to break free and live a life of freedom. Sure, things, or should I say, circumstances, happen in one’s life but the most important emotion is our reactions to these. We can be negative and feel sorry for ourselves or get into a positive state of mind and ‘tighten our belts’ and move on to the next chapter. The most important piont in your life is to not compare yourself with others.

You have been given a blank canvas and it’s up to you what you’re going to paint on it. My own life has had its ups and downs and most of my life I’ve let the downs keep me from experiencing the joys that life has to offer: low in confidence; feeling worthless; lack of self-esteem and hiding away. My aim is to break free and break these chains, start a new journey and use every part of the canvas to paint my picture.

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Controlling anger isn’t something tigers have to think about. These are incredibly beautiful creatures. They represent concepts of pure wildness, untamed beauty, strength and power. Tigers have a reputation for being unpredictable and incredibly dangerous. Keeping a tiger as a pet is definitely inadvisable. It is their wildness that we admire most. A tiger doesn’t need to apologise for being a tiger.

Unlike tigers, we sometimes need to be able to control our anger. Anger is sometimes a perfectly natural response to a situation. Like all emotions it is a signal that something needs to change, and there is something new to learn.

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