Past hurt, couple scowling

Past hurt is inevitable. It is almost impossible to go through life without conflict. There are always going to be people in our lives with whom we don’t see eye to eye.

Marriage break-ups cause more rifts than just those between spouses. Children are swept up in drama, families take sides and friends are forced into awkward situations.

Sometimes there are feuds over money issues, and some people can even bare a grudge for years over a misplaced word or a throwaway sentence.

In an ideal world, perhaps, we would confront these people in our lives. We might sit down and talk it out with them. There might be a row to clear the air. We could seek forgiveness or agree to put the past behind us. These are mature ways to deal with conflict that can and do work for many.

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anger issues - a picture of the incredible hulkAnger issues are among the most common themes that come up when working with neurolinguistic programming (NLP) clients.  Often when I meet someone for the first time, clients will be concerned that they are having angry outbursts or feel pent-up feelings of anger. They can’t understand why this is happening. Small things, which you would not normally find more than slightly  irritating, take on an inappropriate level of emotion.  The tendency to lose your temper can lead to difficulties in your relationships, social life, and also at work. Clients have found themselves Read more »

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Christmas treeThe endless pattern of life repeats itself, year on year, and here we are again with Christmas approaching inexorably.  For me it is still a wonderful time and no matter how aware you are of the commercialism and the hype, you can’t help but feel excited. It is a time of reconnecting with loved ones; a time of peace, and a time of fun and humour.

Why then, oh why, does it have to be so blooming stressful?

Like so many things in life we get tied up with a few things.  For example:

  • Habits
  • Details
  • Past experiences
  • Expectations

So here are some tips that might help make Christmas a smoother, more enjoyable experience for you and your loved ones.Read more »

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There are an expanding number of products, programmes and processes on the market which seek in various ways to ‘detox’ your body. I think the idea of purging your body of toxins from time-to-time is probably very sound. We are exposed in so many ways on a daily basis, to a bubbling cauldron of mysterious chemicals, hormones, and other substances. Sometimes we just need to give our bodies a good clean-out:

  • eat only fruit and vegetable
  • drink green tea
  • exfoliate
  • exercise
  • sauna

These are just a few popular ways people choose to do this.
What if we were to do the same thing to our minds? Maybe we should even be thinking about the mental detox first. With a clear, clean mind we are in the right place mentally to embrace the same process in our bodies.Read more »

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With just a few weeks at best before the final exams for GCSEs, A levels and University Degrees, there are quite a number of us who are feeling rather stressed. The exam season is stressful for everyone and anxiety can really making the whole process more painful.
Some of us can take heart that a small amount of exam anxiety may actually contribute to better results. In a recent session I did with a group of 15-16 year-olds some were incredibly blasé about their upcoming exams. Would these pupils really give their best on the day with that attitude? During the run-up to the exam day it helps to have that little bit of fear, telling you to make the best of the remaining time. If you were completely laid back about your results you would be inclined to work less hard, revise less and therefore perform poorly and get lower marks.
Stress and worry are there for a reason, they are among the body’s natural warning systems and they can help us perform better.Read more »

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