How to uncover more choices, when you are stuck

Many clients, when they first come to see me, feel they are stuck. There are so many different situations in which you can find yourself where there just doesn’t seem to be any choice.

Here are just a few examples:

  • being in a co-dependent or abusive relationship;
  • doing a job you don’t like;
  • unable to lose weight or get healthy;
  • lonely, but too shy to make friends;
  • lacking the confidence and self-belief to do what you really want to do.

Read more ›

Posted in Life Coaching, NLP, presuppositions, Self awareness Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

5 stage-fright re-frames to shift your focus

man singing on stageStage-fright on some level, is pretty much a given with many of the performers and speakers that I work with.

On one level it is completely understandable. Few of us like the idea of standing up there in front of an audience of hundreds, maybe even thousands and singing, dancing or even just speaking.

At the same time, many of my clients are hugely talented people.As one successful client put it ‘I beat myself up over being so nervous. I should be used to it by now.’

The thing that frustrates many performers is that they know that having this fear over performing can mean that they actually perform less well. Read more ›

Posted in Anxiety, Beliefs, Confidence, limitations, Mind, NLP, panic, Self awareness, strategies Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How financially abundant are you?

various amounts of moneyWhat sort of income do you have currently? How comfortable are you right now with how much you earn? Which of these statements fits you best?

  1. I’ve got plenty of money to get everything I need, there’s no desperate need to improve my wealth;
  2. I’m generally comfortable, so long as there are no unexpected crises, and even then we could probably weather the storm through savings and temporary cutbacks;
  3. I am constantly on a treadmill, there always seems to be more going out than coming in. I need to make more money.
  4. I just can’t make ends meet and I’m spiralling into debt.

These are broad descriptions, and I bet you can recognise yourself in one of them. Working with clients I find that individually they can be on any one of these descriptors.  For some of them, money, and the lack of it, is one of their main issues. For others it is the thing that is lowest down their priorities. Money doesn’t make happiness, that’s for certain.

The interesting thing is that the actual ‘amount’ of money that clients have or earn doesn’t necessarily relate to where they are on this scale. Read more ›

Posted in Beliefs, goals, Life Coaching, limitations, Motivation, NLP, Timeline Therapy Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,

What could you learn at your 80th party?

Picture this:  You are walking down a local street one warm sunny day and you see this person coming towards you. They are getting on in life, probably around 80 years old. Surprisingly hale and healthy for that age, this person waves and smiles at you and flags you down. They clearly know you very well, and there is something familiar about them now you come to think of it, but you can’t quite place them.

Then you realise, with a shock, who this is.

It’s you. It’s exactly what you would like to think you would look like when you get to that age. Some weird, time-travel experiment has put you face-to-face with the you that you will become in the future when you are eighty years old. Read more ›

Posted in Beginnings, Dreams, goals, Life Coaching, Motivation, Self awareness Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , ,

Weightloss. Do we interrupt the mind body conversation?

There can be many ways in which we can be uncomfortable about our bodies. The most common, perhaps, is when we become aware that we are not that particular size, or weight that we ‘should’ be.

That ‘should be’ can come from lots of sources. It may be a standard we believe is set by our society, our friends, the media. It could be a measure our parents have handed down to us, unintentionally or intentionally, by trying to manage our food intake – ‘don’t eat too many cakes or you’ll get fat’.

You may be someone who has experienced those patterns of putting on the pounds and then intensively dieting and exercising to lose them again, only to find that a few months later you are back where you started or worse! Alternatively you may have just always been ‘big’ in comparison to others and feel that there is nothing you can do about it.

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Posted in Beliefs, Body, Hypnotherapy, limitations, Mind, NLP, Self awareness, Weight-loss Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,

Don’t let the weather determine your mood!

teddy bear on a cold winter day.Most people have heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the condition that is believed to occur during the months of short days, when we are less exposed to vitamin D and this, in consequence, results in low mood or even depression in the Winter months. It’s a definite thing and there are various ways you can help yourself if you have this condition – daylight lamps, vitamin supplements, or just going away to somewhere sunny (I personally would advocate the last of these if you can afford it!).

There are lots of reasons why we can feel more down and less motivated in the Winter however, and while I wouldn’t rule out SAD, I do think that the awareness of this condition can steal some of our power. There are several very common influences on our mood that tend to occur more commonly at this time of year: Read more ›

Posted in Hypnotherapy, limitations, Mind, Motivation, NLP, Positivity, Self awareness, strategies Tagged with: , , , , , ,

What Dickens’ 3 ghosts tell us about resolutions

Ghost of Christmas PastI know, I know – you’ve probably seen a dozen New Year blogs, New Year products and other activities based around the idea that now is the time to change yourself.

Thing is, it is true. Now is not the only time when you can take hold of your life and really get to grips with the changes, but in many ways it is the best time. Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’ is a delightful tale that can be seen as one man’s epiphany through the lessons of the three ghosts. It’s a bit of a stretch but I’ve used these three ghosts to show why, even though it is a cliche, this is certainly the best time to make those big changes in your life.

Read more ›

Posted in Beginnings, Breakthrough Session, Dreams, goals, Life Coaching, Motivation, NLP, relationship, Self awareness, smoking, Weight-loss Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10 ways to feel better about your body before Christmas

A positive meme

Mean memes seem to be the thing of the moment as I write this blog. The disgusting practice of posting pictures of supposedly unattractive people on social media and encouraging ‘tagging’ others as some sort of joke or insult, has thankfully come under fire.

Stories of people such as Lizzie Velasquez, a motivational speaker and author, with a rare congenital disease that prevents her from accumulating body fat, have been covered in the Metro and other papers, have helped to shame some of these bullies. It may be that the practice will decline, or, such is the perversity of our society, it may increase them.

One of the things that strikes me about some of the pictures that I have seen used for this purpose, is that many of those depicted are actually looking pretty happy!  The people who post Read more ›

Posted in Body, Confidence, Mind, NLP, Positivity, Weight-loss Tagged with: , ,

4 simple Christmas gifts that cost nothing and mean everything

Christmas giftsChristmas is about giving. It is easy to forget that when you look at the advertising of some commercial companies that suggest you ‘treat yourself for Christmas’.
I’m sure that Christmas is not about treating yourself. If you want to really make a difference this Christmas, buy some thoughtful presents, send beautiful cards, and try some of these subtler and more selfless gifts too: Read more ›

Posted in Communication, Life Coaching, NLP, relationship Tagged with: , ,

Why do we need to be afraid?

sparrow on the pathFear is a necessary part of our existence.  That may seem strange.

Think for a minute about the birds in your garden, or in a park. When you walk through the park you often will see birds in the near distance, pecking away at the ground. It may seem that they are oblivious to their surroundings, and I can guarantee that they will be gone long before you reach them. Animals, Read more ›

Posted in Anxiety, Confidence, Life, Life Coaching, limitations, Mind, NLP, phobia, Self awareness, spiders Tagged with: , , , , ,