Metaprograms: Are you an away from or a towards person?

towards/away fromIs your map of the world (see my blog “I finally get getting there”) a generally positive one, or typically erring on the side of negativity?

How we respond to our world, as I’ve said many times before, can totally colour our view of life. Two people viewing the same event can have completely different experiences and interpretations, based on how they filter the information they receive through their senses. There are a range of these filters available to us. For instance we may filter our experience to favour certain senses – focusing on the visual, or on the sounds that are present. We may filter through our values – we may judge easy going people more harshly, for example if one of our highest values is consistency, or achievement.

Another key set of filters is based on our ‘Metaprograms’. I think one way to think of these are as ‘life attitudes’. They are the way you tend to process information and experiences. Metaprograms are often what is being tested in psychometric tests such as the Myers-Briggs test.

I’ll look at just one example of a metaprogram today, but I’ll probably write about others in future blogs.  The subject of todays blog is about whether you are a ‘towards’ or ‘away from’ person.

‘Towards’ people

A person who has a ‘towards’ paradigm, will tend to be focused on goals to be achieved, or positive outcomes to be fulfilled. They may look forward to events in the future, and be looking to make improvements. If you are a towards person, you are looking at what you can gain from a situation, a relationship or a new experience, for example. A ‘toward’ person is great to have around if you want to get things done quickly, or if you have a major goal to complete.  Sometimes a towards person can get into trouble by not thinking things through properly and taking too many risks. Read more ›

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Choice is not always a good thing

Here`s the scenario.  You are on your way to a meeting.  Perhaps it is work related, or a club committee, or simply catching up with a friend.  You’re about to head into the cafe, or the office and you suddenly realise that you haven’t got a pen.  You’re going to look a bit silly if you need to take some notes or jot down some figures, or even just put a date in your diary.

Just down the road from the venue for the meeting is a local supermarket – a pretty big one. They will definitely be selling pens. Read more ›

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4 questions to make a big decision easier

I had an email the other day from a past client who I haven’t heard from for a while.

It’s lovely to hear from people I have worked with, and especially nice when they occasionally just check in and tell me how things are going, what they are doing, and sometimes also, what challenges they are facing.

This particular lady is really enjoying life at the moment and it’s lovely to think that I was there for her when things were a little complicated and stressful. Read more ›

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What are you aware of?

As we go through life, stuff just happens. It can feel like we are being carried on a wave and there just isn’t time to properly focus on what is happening and what we are feeling. But moods and states change constantly through the day as we all know.

Even the most depressed people have moments of feeling calmer and more positive. Even the most anxious people can forget to worry in a particular moment.  The best state of all can often be the one we haven’t even noticed. That state of being in ‘The Zone’, so focused that you have forgotten where you are, all sounds become a background buzz and your attention is solely on the task in hand. Read more ›

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So what WOULD Mary Berry do?

Most people have a hero. Someone whose work they admire. Someone who does something that stirs you up.

When I ask my clients to tell me their heroes, they often feel that they need to come up with some big name and then decide that they have to have the goals to go along with it.

They imagine it should be a film star, like Emma Thompson, or Bruce Willis, or Scarlet Johansson.  Or they think I want them to choose a successful business person, like Oprah Winfrey or Read more ›

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How to uncover more choices, when you are stuck

Many clients, when they first come to see me, feel they are stuck. There are so many different situations in which you can find yourself where there just doesn’t seem to be any choice.

Here are just a few examples:

  • being in a co-dependent or abusive relationship;
  • doing a job you don’t like;
  • unable to lose weight or get healthy;
  • lonely, but too shy to make friends;
  • lacking the confidence and self-belief to do what you really want to do.

Read more ›

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5 stage-fright re-frames to shift your focus

man singing on stageStage-fright on some level, is pretty much a given with many of the performers and speakers that I work with.

On one level it is completely understandable. Few of us like the idea of standing up there in front of an audience of hundreds, maybe even thousands and singing, dancing or even just speaking.

At the same time, many of my clients are hugely talented people.As one successful client put it ‘I beat myself up over being so nervous. I should be used to it by now.’

The thing that frustrates many performers is that they know that having this fear over performing can mean that they actually perform less well. Read more ›

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How financially abundant are you?

various amounts of moneyWhat sort of income do you have currently? How comfortable are you right now with how much you earn? Which of these statements fits you best?

  1. I’ve got plenty of money to get everything I need, there’s no desperate need to improve my wealth;
  2. I’m generally comfortable, so long as there are no unexpected crises, and even then we could probably weather the storm through savings and temporary cutbacks;
  3. I am constantly on a treadmill, there always seems to be more going out than coming in. I need to make more money.
  4. I just can’t make ends meet and I’m spiralling into debt.

These are broad descriptions, and I bet you can recognise yourself in one of them. Working with clients I find that individually they can be on any one of these descriptors.  For some of them, money, and the lack of it, is one of their main issues. For others it is the thing that is lowest down their priorities. Money doesn’t make happiness, that’s for certain.

The interesting thing is that the actual ‘amount’ of money that clients have or earn doesn’t necessarily relate to where they are on this scale. Read more ›

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What could you learn at your 80th party?

Picture this:  You are walking down a local street one warm sunny day and you see this person coming towards you. They are getting on in life, probably around 80 years old. Surprisingly hale and healthy for that age, this person waves and smiles at you and flags you down. They clearly know you very well, and there is something familiar about them now you come to think of it, but you can’t quite place them.

Then you realise, with a shock, who this is.

It’s you. It’s exactly what you would like to think you would look like when you get to that age. Some weird, time-travel experiment has put you face-to-face with the you that you will become in the future when you are eighty years old. Read more ›

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Weightloss. Do we interrupt the mind body conversation?

There can be many ways in which we can be uncomfortable about our bodies. The most common, perhaps, is when we become aware that we are not that particular size, or weight that we ‘should’ be.

That ‘should be’ can come from lots of sources. It may be a standard we believe is set by our society, our friends, the media. It could be a measure our parents have handed down to us, unintentionally or intentionally, by trying to manage our food intake – ‘don’t eat too many cakes or you’ll get fat’.

You may be someone who has experienced those patterns of putting on the pounds and then intensively dieting and exercising to lose them again, only to find that a few months later you are back where you started or worse! Alternatively you may have just always been ‘big’ in comparison to others and feel that there is nothing you can do about it.

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